There is no perfect way to raise a child. Everyone's different. No one is flawless. So why do parents act like their kids should be? Apparently we are just "grumpy" and "annoying" misanthropes who have "no right to judge someone who works so hard for their children", but I should be allowed to correct someone who makes mistakes. And let's be honest. Our parents will make mistakes. But as their child, I have the right to inform them if they (for example) hurt my feelings, misjudge me, or disregard my problems. If you are discounting your child's' feelings, you should be prepared to suffer the consequences, because whether you want to believe it or not, your kids get older and become more mature every day. They will have caprices. And their likes and dislikes change constantly. If your child wants to be a lawyer when they're older, say "Good for you" and allow them to thrive. If your child wants to marry someone of the same gender, say "Good for you" and allow them to be who they want to be. However, if your child says that they are having a problem in school, don't say "Toughen up". Instead, get them the help that they need. Because that is the job of a parent. To help. To guide us through life and then let us free into the world. However, it's not their place to control the child. Give them enough freedom so that they can make their own mistakes and create their own success stories. Telling them that they should learn from your mistakes is as pointless as putting tape on a crack in concrete. It is simply not going to help. Listen to your kids. They'll help you help them. The top 8 things children hate about their parents: 1) Comparisons- If you have more than one child, comparing them to one another is simply unnecessary and only leads to hurt feelings. Saying "why can't you be more like your brother?" or "your brother could do blah blah at your age" is only tearing down that child's self confidence. 2) Killjoy- Don't be a killjoy. If your kid wants to go out with his/her friends, don't be THAT parents who won't let them go out because they didn't finish a homework assignment that isn't even due until next week. The job of a kid is to have fun. Don't make them grow up too fast. 3) Yelling- Did you know that yelling at your child can have serious emotional effects on them when they grow older? It is scientifically proven that yelling at children when they are younger causes them to develop anxiety and become depressed and self-destructive later in life. Especially if it's in front of other people, yelling will cause your child to be nonplussed and embarrassed. Come on. Is it really that hard to use your inside voices? 4) Invading privacy- Isn't this self-explanatory, parents? I mean, who wants someone going through your personal items constantly? Do you really need to check his/her text messages? Do you really need to stalk him/her on Instagram? If you raised your child the way you intended to, you should be able to trust them enough to make their own decisions. In addition, parents, we know when you've been on our phones. We can tell what message you've been reading. We can tell what app you've been going through. We may be "snotty", but we are not stupid. 5) Control Freaks- While I admit that parents are responsible for keeping you safe, there is limit between limit and control. It is acceptable to tell your teenager they cannot go out at 11 o'clock at night. However, if they want to go to a friend's house, don't make them stay home because you don't know who that friend is. Let your child have freedom while guiding them to make the right decisions. 6) Nags- "Clean up your room! Take the trash out! Put your clothes away! Don't leave empty water bottles in your room!" Jeez. If I hear "Your room looks like a pig-sty" one more time, I think I'm going to jump out the window.It's cyclic. You'll yell at them to clean up their room. It'll get messy again. You'll yell again. IT'S ENOUGH. WE GET IT. Sometimes we aree just too busy trying to fit everything into our day that we don't get around to folding our clothes. But let's be honest. Is it really that big of a deal? Is it really that hard to say "It's ok, just make sure you do it later this week"? There are more important things in life that making sure your dirty clothes are put in the laundry basket. 7) Forced Views- Everyone has different personalities. Don't be autocratic. Trying to force something onto your kid will only make them angry. It will push them away to the point of no return. While it is good to learn and share your ideas and morals, it is not acceptable to impose a belief on someone who has different opinions than you. 8) Demeaning- Being a teenager in today's society is one of the hardest things to be. Yeah, we don't have to pay taxes or worry about putting food on the table, but what we do worry about is just as taxing. For example, we have our entire future ahead of us. Life will be here before we know it, and preparing for that is a load on our mental and physical health. In addition, we have to worry about keeping up with society's standards: girls and boys have to stay in shape while getting good grades and participating in extracurricular activities while also getting 8+ hours of sleep while having a social life and spending time with their family and also keeping up with new fashions. Have fun. | |